Confusion...

I'm was just sitting here thinking about something and was wondering am I the only one that found this to be disturbing in my book..
I understand how females are when it comes to their friends or acquaintances talking to their ex-lover. Even when its not really that serious. But its crazy how guys could care less. Its like fuck and pass, fuck and pass haha
Well I remember when I was in 9th grade and these two girls were basically fighting for this boy. They hated each others guts and wanted to literally fight for a boy that was playing them both really. He would mess with one then break up with her and mess with the other and still mess with the first. Man it was crazy. It was like the talk of the school. Was these girls really serious?! And to top it off he called one of them out in public like she was some hoe or something but she still stayed messing with him. I don't know about you guys but once you disrespect me then hunny you out the door. You mean not a dam thing to me anymore =]
My friend and I was talking today in school because now these girls claim to be the bestest of friends. And the one that I guess won the battle continue to be with the boy but they recently broke up. Now it seems as though she passed him on to the other girl because I know and everyone else know that they are talking.
How can you be someone's bestfriend and you mess around with the boy that she was so in love with??
That's something I just couldn't comprehend. If it was just a regular guy then I understand but no they have been together and messing around for a while so I know the feelings are there. She can say she doesn't care but truthfully she does and if your so called bestfriend has the nervous to continue to mess with him on the side then that's a problem.
Then again her bestfriend might not be telling her the whole truth about her and the boy. You know how girls are: try to make it seem as though he just pursuing her and she not messing with him.
I just want to know am I wrong for thinking this is wrong or is it really wrong? lol
I'm just confused I tell ya...confused!

Dats yo dam problem...

"Dats yo dam problem u think someones always out to play u or hurt u and u push out everyone out yo life..."

Part of the text message I received yesterday from him <3>

[31 Jan. 08]----The End...I guess :(

I've never been the one to really fall for a guy because I never opened up to any one like that. I've just been the type to just talk to the person but never make it official like that. Then came this one guy who showed up in my life. Once again I thought it was nothing just another guy. Then the more I talked to him the more I fell for him. I just couldn't pull away from him till the point where I literally start loving him. He had just about all the characteristics that I wanted in a guy. Someone to make me laugh, someone to be there for me when I cry, someone to push me to do my best, and someone who cares for me as much as I cared for them or so I thought. It was just one downside....HE WASN'T A FOOTBALL PLAYER!! lol. That shows I can date someone that isn't a football player for those that say I am addicted.

Well long relationships have never been my thing and I run at the thought of being with someone for so long. What is crazy though was when me and him hit one year...man i just couldn't believe it. It barely seemed like one year and I still had strong feelings for this guy. I get bored very easily so that was a shocker for me.

But all of this lovely things turned upside down recently. I messed up and wish I can take it back but then I also feel like he lying to me and not keeping it real which really gets to me. If you mess up just tell me I rather you tell me then I hear from someone else or you lies just don't add up. I mean come on we been together and through so much for you to hide shit from me. I poured everything out to this boy and I kind of feel stupid that I did now that I know its basically over. Its crazy because last night I laid down in my bed and was just reminiscing on the good times I had with him and also the bad. I guess the saying is true...Your first love will always hurt you. I thought it was going to be different with our case but I guess I was wrong. At the moment we are not talking and it's kind of awkward because I'm so use to always talking to him. Friendship wise at this time....i guess that's out the door too. Wish it could be different but that's up to him.

So currently right now i'm single and I do admit I enjoy it. Relationship with someone else??? Ummm no i'm good for right now. I need to concentrate on school and doing what I have to do to create a future for me. Plus I'm not rushing into anything with anyone that's how people mess up in life. Me, Myself, Nnenna, & I.

Still love him <3

Now You Done Set Me Off!!

Why is it that guys always try to do things to piss you off?? You was just complaining how if you were to had done what I did then I would of been mad so I apologized and admitted my fault. Then you have the nerve to tell me some bullshit that you obviously knew would upset me. Now you have me thinking was you just saying that just to get me back, but my offense was not even to that level. Boys. Boys. Boys. You just never know what is going on with them. I decided that I'm just going to live my life and not let that get to me. You can spend the whole day with your so called "friend" and take her to the mall because she leaving the next day but you can't do the same for your GIRLFRIEND??? That sounds just stupid. I know my worth and if you feel as though another chick is worth more to you then me then I suggest that its time we go our separate ways. Why would you even tell me that??!!! I still don't get it. If I told you that I spent the whole day with a "friend" and he took me to the mall to go shopping and everything you would obviously be upset but you have the guts to tell me that. But its cool though because now I see how we playing it. I just know now not to deny anyone my time because you have no problem dedicating your precious time to some little hussie! I just needed some time to rant on about this because i just kept asking myself the same question. I'm growing and maturing to know that its whatever. You do you and ima do me just don't be upset when I do me better than you can do you. :)

Its all good!!

Emotionally Drained.

This is a random blog but I just feel like I need to get some issues off my chest. This past week has been hell for me. At one point I really didn't know what to do seriously. Got into an arguement with my dad then to top that off got into it with the bf which might have been the straw for him. I'm just a confused mind that don't know what she wants at times. I was in the moment and started just letting my emotions take over and said some hurtful things to him which I regret and want to take back so bad but I can't. I can only hope that he forgives me and understand that it was out of fustration and really didn't come from the heart. So I decided its time I start letting things go and not allowing stuff to get to me because once I do it always end up bad at the end. Right now i'm just sitting back and just relaxing. I love him dearly and I don't want to lose him but now its his choice and I think I've said enough already. My mouth can get me in so much trouble and I really do need to learn how to control it. Sometimes I let my anger take over and I just start saying things and thats not cool. Look what happened now. I can only put things in God's hand. He can take care of it better than I can...

gorgeous vixen.
The Blog of a Vixen!

Love At First Sight?? Nawwww

Boredom...the exact word to describe how I'm feeling right now. I mean you can tell. I'm just on the computer switching among Myspace, Facebook, and Blogger while texting the hubby and friend. And engaging in television watching The Nanny. Its an old sitcom but its actually very entertaining and I love Fran's voice but anyway back on being bored. Earlier the bf asked me if I wrote another one and I said no and he gave me an idea to write a blog about us which isn't a bad idea. The downside is the fact that it will take a long blog to get everything down. We've been through ALOT together ever since we got together on 01.31.08 [my lucky day].

Ok ima be real with yall. It was not love at first sight. Matter of fact I was just recovering from a past relationship when he walked into my life. At first I was like umm yea ok lol. He was pretty cool but if you was to ask me then if i could see us together for this long my answer would of probably been a hell naw. I use to be worried about me, myself, and I and then he kinda added someone else to the list...him. Eventually my feelings for him began to grow to the point that it kinda scared me because I've never done this love thing and I didn't plan on it anytime soon. So we got together second semester of my freshman year in high school and he was a sophomore. Now i'm an upcoming junior and he is an upcoming senior. Now we've broke up I think about three times. The first two really wasn't serious because it was like for some hours or just one day but the last time we broke up which was more recent was for about 2 or 3 months and OMG it was like hell. I'm not going to get into so much about that because its too long but we got it together and now we back strong! We plan on making it last this time and not falling for all this stuff around us. I love him and I know he loves me and thats all we need...Oh and this probably the only post that you will hear me talking about that loser lol

01.31.08 <3