[31 Jan. 08]----The End...I guess :(

I've never been the one to really fall for a guy because I never opened up to any one like that. I've just been the type to just talk to the person but never make it official like that. Then came this one guy who showed up in my life. Once again I thought it was nothing just another guy. Then the more I talked to him the more I fell for him. I just couldn't pull away from him till the point where I literally start loving him. He had just about all the characteristics that I wanted in a guy. Someone to make me laugh, someone to be there for me when I cry, someone to push me to do my best, and someone who cares for me as much as I cared for them or so I thought. It was just one downside....HE WASN'T A FOOTBALL PLAYER!! lol. That shows I can date someone that isn't a football player for those that say I am addicted.

Well long relationships have never been my thing and I run at the thought of being with someone for so long. What is crazy though was when me and him hit one year...man i just couldn't believe it. It barely seemed like one year and I still had strong feelings for this guy. I get bored very easily so that was a shocker for me.

But all of this lovely things turned upside down recently. I messed up and wish I can take it back but then I also feel like he lying to me and not keeping it real which really gets to me. If you mess up just tell me I rather you tell me then I hear from someone else or you lies just don't add up. I mean come on we been together and through so much for you to hide shit from me. I poured everything out to this boy and I kind of feel stupid that I did now that I know its basically over. Its crazy because last night I laid down in my bed and was just reminiscing on the good times I had with him and also the bad. I guess the saying is true...Your first love will always hurt you. I thought it was going to be different with our case but I guess I was wrong. At the moment we are not talking and it's kind of awkward because I'm so use to always talking to him. Friendship wise at this time....i guess that's out the door too. Wish it could be different but that's up to him.

So currently right now i'm single and I do admit I enjoy it. Relationship with someone else??? Ummm no i'm good for right now. I need to concentrate on school and doing what I have to do to create a future for me. Plus I'm not rushing into anything with anyone that's how people mess up in life. Me, Myself, Nnenna, & I.

Still love him <3